Understanding Narcissism you to the returning su. Future faking is a powerful technique narcissists use for control. This keeps the target hopeful and engaged in the relationship, even when the promises remain unfulfilled. Future faking is often associated with narcissism, but similar behaviors can be seen in people who struggle with anxious attachment and codependency too. Indeed, if youve had the. Exaggerate their feelings for you to get what they want in the moment. Back Submit. Therapists explain how narcissists use future faking to create bonds but then never follow through with their promises. It involves making someone believe that what’s. Narcissist : ‘I will call you tomorrow and we can arrange to go for dinner on Saturday night. Future faking is an emotional hook that ensnares the victim. . Additionally, a narcissist will even send unsolicited pictures of themselves! They will send selfies of them and only them – not necessarily of the cool things they are doing that they want to show you, or of their friends/family, they will send pictures of themselves. Keller is “to know your own self worth,. Disclaimer. Durvasula explains that future faking is just a means of distraction and usually happens when a narcissist realizes a partner is moving away from the relationship. Maybe they’re going to go to therapy, or they’re going to do this or that, but they’ve just been under so much pressure lately – just give them six more months. Future faking is a manipulative tactic commonly used by narcissists where they fabricate grand plans for the future, promising their victims everything their heart desires. Future faking is a deceptive and unkind behavior, which puts it in the realm of tactics narcissists could use to draw someone in, but it can also be practiced by not very adept or considerate. They can develop intense emotional attachments—even appearing to "fall in love"—and yet still maintain a complete lack of empathy for the object of their affection. They may just move too fast. • Future faking. We want a future with our romantic partners and we also want a future with our business partners. You want to detail the cunning seduction, the sudden switch to devaluation, the mind games, the abuse, the push, and the pull, the torture, the future faking, the despair, the insidious nature of it, the lies and the lies and the lies. Future faking: How narcissists manipulate you with romantic fantasies Jason Crosby. There are people who believe finding the right one is magical. Shifting goalposts and constant postponements. As a diagnosed narcissist, Ben Taylor claims to have done what many psychologists consider. Ian Noble/Unsplash. Narcissists continue to gain control of the people in their lives by eliciting difficult emotions. Advertisement. Lack of accountability. Future faking is exactly what it says, only it’s better explained the other way around. Don't let the past define your. Future faking in my experience is the promise of a bright future with the narcissist- with them promising things of emotional significance to you, with no intention of following through at all. Some professionals use a polygraph, also known as a lie detector test. They may just. Cheating Sign #1: Beware of the hypocritical narcissist who deals in contradictions. Mental & physical health — Self-love, self-worth, physical and mental strength. This is premeditated future faking. This was a very simple example of future faking, but on a larger scale (i. And many of us are willing to make. Since narcissistic personalities are known to be both highly manipulative and charming when they need to be, this is a tool they won’t shy away from using. Ian Noble/Unsplash. The future faking that keeps the love bombing phase intact is supporting the narcissist’s preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power,. They share just a little of their vulnerable side, that revs up a Codependent’s need to. ’ (Future event, spoken statement (low energy) for the purpose of controlling the victim). Being in a harem obviously isn’t good for the participants. Watch on. Canva ProThe term is typically used to describe narcissistic behaviours (a form of emotional abuse perpetrated by someone who suffers from narcissism or sociopathy), but future faking isn’t limited to. I was told we would go on vacation as a family, when they didn’t even bother to invite me when they would go. Narcissists may show bursts of enthusiasm and make promises but quickly lose interest or shift their attention elsewhere. But for those around them, these expressions. Psychopathy: People with psychopathic tendencies may also be fake friends, says Dr. Narcs are huge dreamers and master manipulators. Future faking gives you this feeling of "oh we will have it so well, just right now it's not so well" and in the end, they twist it it to be your fault the "planned" future could'nt or just isn't achievable. but also destructive to your life and your future. The narcissist may future fake by claiming that they want the same things from the relationship or promise to change their abusive behavior. All about No Contact with the narcissist; Characteristics of a narcissist; Getting even with a narcissist? Healing from narcissistic abuse; Informative and inspirational websites; My story of a narcissistic relationship; Out of the fog diaries; Signs that you may be emotionally abused; The narcissistic harem; The narcissistic hoovers;. This article is going to help you grasp a comprehensive. Coupon_Problem • 2 yr. They will use the information that they have gathered during their data mining to present this “dream life” that is exactly what the target wants for his or her life, but it’s all complete and total BS. When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. The love bombing phase is a period in a narcissistic relationship where the narcissist will create almost a fairytale type of love story by using manipulative tactics like mirroring and future faking on top of buying the victim an overwhelming amount of gifts, and an enormous level of affection. Future Faking Narcissists use future faking when they want to reel you in or smooth things over. Listen to Future Faking and the Narcissist, an episode of Raw Motivations, easily on Podbay - the best podcast player on the web. The original Future Faking statement is instinctively issued (and believed by the narcissist) in order to assert control over you and to gain fuel. The original Future Faking statement is instinctively issued (and believed by the narcissist) in order to assert control you and to gain fuel. Support podcast. We interviewed two "self-aware" narcissists to answer your questions about their path to improvement. Make promises about the future, yet take no action to make those. They have to lie about who they are so that they can create. It isn’t magical; it requires that you talk face to face and resolve issues. But they have no intention of this lasting or of having any future with a partner. Future faking is a manipulation tactic employed when a narcissist or toxic person promises to fulfill your desires in the future to get something they want in the present — which is often simply to get off scot-free, delay a commitment, obtain resources, or avoid a conflict. Canva Pro The term is typically used to describe narcissistic behaviours (a form of emotional abuse perpetrated by someone who suffers from narcissism or sociopathy), but future faking isn’t limited to. They will make fake promises about our future together to get their needs met in the present, to hide how horrible it is. What is Future Faking? Future Faking. Les Carter, fellow psychologist, narcissism expert and host of the Surviving Narci. 3. But suddenly, the individual with narcissism begins to reveal traits of lying, future-faking, and Dr. All the while, they could be playing you, or even be married to someone else. Ego stroking is just too appealing. 2. The narcissist may future fake by claiming that they want the same things from the relationship or promise to change their abusive behavior. The victim is left devastated over the losses and this disappointment and shock can potentially cause PTSD. Then they seem to cut off contact with you. Uses inferences that suggest you have a future together. It’s all promises, totally intangible, and most definitely, doesn. . Their ability to fill the void in the. The prominent personality traits are what. Key points. Since a narcissist can typically lure us back with mere crumbs, future-faking is the emergency back-up in his bag of hoovering tricks. What Future Faking is; Why you may not clearly see the future faking; How to see future faking for what it is ; Recognizing the patterns of future faking in your relationship may help you see why you stay for more abuse; The manipulation: love-bombing, seduction, bait-and-switch of future faking; I'm here to help. Awareness is your first line of defence; by staying vigilant, you can more easily discern when someone’s promises are genuine or merely a. Future faking and the Narcissist. ’ (Future event, spoken statement (low energy) for the purpose of controlling the victim). ”. The Reminiscent, Sentimental Hoover. Narcissistic Grooming Technique: Future faking. A non-verbal form of future faking is simply a narcissist’s demeanor in the beginning stages of the relationship. Future faking is a manipulative technique that narcissists use to control their victims. Fake Quotes. The antidote to being love-bombed in the future says Dr. SIGN UP FOR MY HEALING PROGRAM: TO MY N. 1. They make promises about the future which they have no intention of keeping in order to keep their victims under their thumb. Narcissists have lots of deceptions up their sleeves. Thus. No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. So as the leaders, so as the people. You may have experienced future faking previously. The narcissist is an expert at presenting a false future as a way to draw people into their manipulation and control. About; Contact us; 380+ locations; Online therapy; Psychiatry/medication; TherapyLand; Pricing; Client resources;It can also bring a little something called future faking into the fold, in which someone makes promises about the near or distant future that they don't intend to keep. ”. They may just move too fast. Watch on. Lesser Narcissists – often, lacking in sophistication, instinctive, vague, can be of questionable provenance. 1 min read. 9 August 2023 by Carla Corelli. They think, do, believe, and say, only what they consider to be correct. Whether it’s financial support, emotional labor, or physical assistance, narcissists may promise to. It’s when the narcissist promises something they know you want, to get what they want now: NARCISSISTS FUTURE FAKING: Don't Buy Into the Illusion. Here's a list of future fakes my Nex used on me: "I'm going to marry you someday/You will be my wife someday/ I want to grow old with you. ”. In future faking, a narcissist courts a partner with a detailed but unlikely vision of a future together. Future faking is a manipulative technique that narcissists use to control their victims. 4. It’s important to identify your needs clearly. One of the key indicators of future faking is the absence of consistent effort or actions to fulfill the promises made. They make false promises, claiming that “one day” everything will be better. ’ (Future event, spoken statement (low energy) for the purpose of controlling the victim). Covert narcissists enjoy making. . Their whole life is a fraud. They respond to consequences. 9 August 2023. The narcissist may breadcrumb with future faking, vaguely referring to some plan for the two of you in the future that will never materialize. The original Future Faking statement is instinctively issued (and believed by the narcissist) in order to assert control over you and to gain fuel. Coupon_Problem • 2 yr. Within narcissistic abuse, future-faking is found in idealisation and the love bombing stage,. When a narcissist future fakes, it shows that they do really know what you want, but they have. A verbal form of future faking could be a narcissist making a false promise to move to a specific area so the victim could finish school and still be in a relationship with the narcissist. They future fake and insinuate the perfect future together. The beautiful picture that the manipulator had painted dissolved; it had never existed, and all that remained was the. Lesser Narcissists – often, lacking in sophistication, instinctive, vague, can be of questionable provenance. The ability to future fake is integral to us since it sits with our frequent and repeated lying so readily. They enjoy the attention—the “perks. Emotional Support — Family, friends, relatives, and colleagues. For example, somebody with narcissistic personality disorder might be a flying monkey. Future faking gives you this feeling of "oh we will have it so well, just right now it's not so well" and in the end, they twist it it to be your fault the "planned" future could'nt or just isn't achievable. They may talk about how the victim is exactly the woman they always wanted. How Narcissists Lure Partners with "Future Faking" advertisement. . The only one that I have ever known. In either case, rushing into future. The exact causes of covert narcissism are not entirely understood, but it is likely that a number of factors contribute. When a narcissist future fakes, it shows that they do really know what you want, but they have. Future Faking is a tactic narcissists use to get people to do things for them. The manipulative narcissist will do it again, experts say. Remember – highly manipulative people don’t respond to empathy or compassion. This is a part of “managing your expectations” of what will happen in the relationship, since if you expect your dreams to come true, you'll act accordingly now. ’ ‘I want to marry you. I was never shown anything solid and. They enjoy being able to decide what happens to the little people. Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. Narcissists employ future faking for personal gain, using it to wring whatever it is they want out of you. Those great things never come to pass, your job keeps getting worse, and the narcissist will either claim their hands are tied or that there is no issue. 17 Signs You're in a Narcissistic Marriage or Relationship. Specifically, narcissists’ self-assessments of their lying abilities and self-reports of lying may not be valid indicators of their actual lying behavior. Indirect manipulation. female narcissists and future faking - what does it mean?When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, he/she will tell you (for example), that: They don’t want to settle down anytime soon. This article guides you through 9 reasons narcissists use future faking. 11 minutes Posted Apr 1, 2022 at 11:11 am. These under-the-radar names are improving seeds and crop yields, while offering. Don’t know where it goes. Faking a relationship works for the narcissist because the unknowing partner assumes that they plan to deliver upon their promises for the relationship’s future. The concept of future faking is pretty straightforward, they are just false promises, but to develop healthy responses to future faking you have to be aware of a hidden aspect of it. It's like the cake in this computergame, you jump through loops after loops but there is no fucking cake. Defiance. Fear or avoidance of criticizing or upsetting their partner. You have to prepare. What is future faking narcissist? The typical egoistic person, being high on confidence, assumes everyone else to be wrong. What makes future faking such an effective form of manipulation is the relationship it has with mirroring. Narcissists use a variety of manipulative tactics to control their victims, including gaslighting, future faking, and more. 7. Thus. While planning the future with someone you’re. When a narcissist notices that they are losing control over you, and you want to end the abuse and expose them, they try to win you back. Narcissists and psychopaths will often casually talk about marriage, having children and other relationship milestones early on, or long before any reasonable person would seriously consider such things. Thus. Trauma-Informed Psychotherapist, Speaker, Author & Coach specializing in narcissistic abuse & relational trauma 3mo Report this post. All future faking is, is a way of gaining supply through false pretenses, and masking over reality. Future faking and the narcissist. Someone with a moderate narcissistic personality is pretty consistently unempathic and manipulative with the people closest to them. Future faking is a courtship strategy in which a narcissist paints a detailed picture of the wonderful future that they will have with a partner that is actually unlikely to happen. The narcissist mirrors your. Future Faking Narcissist. These false promises often go unfulfilled, leaving the victim feeling disappointed and betrayed. When people with covert narcissism can’t measure up to the “superhuman” standards they set for themselves, they may feel inadequate in response to this failure. Narcissistic and psychopathic individuals enjoy excessively flattering, future-faking, love bombing, and later devaluing their targets. . The narcissist promises a scenario down the road and you go back in assuming they will follow through. It could be tempting to take them up on that offer but it is almost always going to end with baiting, gaslighting, narcissistic rage, and a crippling level of disappointment and confusion. A. Lies and future faking. “I’m The Most Honest Person You’ll Ever Meet. Thus – Narcissist: ‘I will call you tomorrow and we can arrange to go for dinner on Saturday night. LYING TO STAY AHEAD. ”. ’ ‘I want to marry you. Also, a narcissist might use future-faking to exert coercive control. By this, I mean that the narcissist talks about or hints at a future together to get what he wants from us right now. They lie because it provides them with the ability to. Narcissists create the illusion of a deep connection by selective sharing, listening intently, giving thoughtful and insightful advice, being sweet and putting on the face that they really care. Future Faking Narcissists. Narcissists will promise you anything then not follow through. can it be salvaged or is it time to consider. Outwardly suggests you have a future together although you barely know this person. They’re gaslighting you into thinking that without them, you’ll never be able to experience love again. In. Future faking is basically when someone says. Mental health expert, Darius Cikanavicius writes that “future faking preys on your dreams and goals to fabulate a possible future so that they can string you along. This hidden aspect is called nonverbal future faking. “The shock and awe come from the over-the-top, emotionally charged. Phrases like, “Why don’t you ever check yourself?” are things they say on a regular basis. Narcissism is typically described by qualities of selfishness, a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a strong need for admiration. Narcissists employ future faking for personal gain, using it to wring whatever it is they want out of you. Future faking is a manipulative technique that narcissists use to control their victims. Narcissism vs. People with narcissistic or borderline personality disorders, among others, typically engage in love bombing—manipulatively showering someone with praise and affection to gain (or regain) trust quickly. Disclaimer. Ego stroking is just too appealing. Narcissists will fake a future with you to keep control of the relationship. ”. Narcissist : ‘I will call you tomorrow and we can arrange to go for dinner on Saturday night. Narcissist : ‘I will call you tomorrow and we can arrange to go for dinner on Saturday night. It refers to three personality categories that are associated with a callous-manipulative interpersonal style and the following traits: a. Then they’ll offer that intermittent reinforcement of the ideal future ( future faking. In this article, we will explore 17 examples of how narcissists use. Thus. Add to My Podcasts. This occurs in romantic relationships, familial ones, and in work environments too. He or she may vanish for hours or days on end, or gaslight. Therefore, things they truly wanted to happen can eventually become things they never want to get close to. By this, I mean that the narcissist talks about or hints at a future together to get what he wants from us right now. Future Faking. Watch on. 4 min read. A narcissist may. The length and breadth of the lie eventually keep you bound to the manipulator. Indeed, if youve had the misfortune to interact. They may use future faking to get their partner’s attention and admiration. The ability to future fake is integral to us since it sits with our frequent and repeated lying so readily. The Borderline sometimes do it to hook you in like the Narcissist, but the Borderline is often not trying to manipulate you. You will never get the truth from a narcissist. Recognising the signs of future faking and understanding the manipulative motives behind it can equip you with the knowledge to sidestep the emotional snares set by a narcissist. company. [P]rovide space for them to follow up with action,” says Dr. It refers to three personality categories that are associated with a callous-manipulative interpersonal style and the following traits: a. For example, your narcissistic ex may send you romantic messages, shower you with flattering comments or acts of affection (leave love notes on your car windscreen, have a bouquet. This is also known as future faking. Healthy love is based on two emotionally mature people equally invested in creating a relationship together. Narcissists are great future fakers because they are fake in general. You’re not in a relationship. Ben Taylor. Do not get a pet with them and avoid having children. But suddenly, the individual with narcissism begins to reveal traits of lying, future-faking, and Dr. A narcissist knows that you two had some good times in the past. Love podcastToday I’m thrilled to have as my guest Dr. "Future faking throws things into hyperdrive and is blinding and almost like a gaslighting of romance. They have a. Are pathological liars narcissistic? Pathological lying is a symptom of various personality disorders, including. Often in my experience the narcissistic/pd person wanted something from me- often that was a financial gain for. Narcissists often go about future faking by gathering information about the. Just like what the name suggests, Future Faking is when someone promises you a fake future, a mirage if you will. This is important because the most effective boundaries that you can set to protect yourself against future faking and other. If you’re codependent, finding someone who seems to think you’re. The original Future Faking statement is instinctively issued (and believed by the narcissist) in order to assert control over you and to gain fuel. Final thoughts. Narcissists may appear confident, but their actual sense of worth and self-esteem is fake. 1 min read. Prefer blondes over brunettes. He used marriage and “forever” to keep me putting up with his BS. They will make promises and build dreams about this future with you that they have no intention of making it a reality. This usually happens in relationships where the narcissist is trying to control or manipulate the other person. Disclaimer. Narcissists Manipulate Victims By Utilizing "Future Faking" Stacy Ann 2022-05-12. " Future Faking — when someone pitches a vision for the future that doesn't exist, and they have no intention of ever making it a reality. Love podcastToday I’m thrilled to have as my guest Dr. They will make grandiose promises, talk about future plans, and paint a picture of a. Jekyl /Mr. Final thoughts. A very subtle form of future faking would be the narcissist’s demeanor. This means someone is leading. Minimize unnecessary comparisons and reprogram negative self-talk. It is practically not even an insult, even if one does call. Well try to give the victims of a narcissist hope that there is a way out. They experience a special euphoric “high” from the sense of superiority they feel by pulling the wool over people’s eyes and getting people who would otherwise not pursue them to chase them. . ”. Over time, mirroring and future faking manipulates those being abused into believing that the narcissist. About us. I just don't get future faking about something like this, especially given where we were in knowing each other. Calling out a narcissist as a pathological liar is not as important as pin pointing the type of lying that he does that really cuts us to the core: future-faking. After it’s over or he or she. For emotional black holes, narcissists are masters at figuring out what your innermost needs and vulnerabilities are. The narcissist gives hints or direct statements about the future in order to control you in the present. I walk a lonely road. In the narcissistic realm, the term “future faking” refers to when a narcissist makes a false promise for the future to get exactly what they want in the present. Readers are. Romanoff suggests some steps you can take if you’re in a narcissistic relationship, as well as some strategies that can help prevent you from falling into the same pattern again: Start expressing your needs: You may struggle to identify your feelings and communicate them to your partner. They make promises about the future which they have no intention of keeping in order to keep their victims under their thumb. Recognising the signs of future faking and understanding the manipulative motives behind it can equip you with the knowledge to sidestep the emotional snares set by a narcissist. This is future faking. It’s when the narcissist promises something they know you want, to get what they want now: NARCISSISTS FUTURE FAKING: Don't Buy Into the Illusion. How Narcissists Use Future Faking to Manipulate You Into a Relationship. They are the target’s dream come true. Don't let the past define your. SIGN UP FOR MY HEALING PROGRAM: TO MY N. Future faking is a common manipulation used by all narcissists. They experience a special euphoric “high” from the sense of superiority they feel by pulling the wool over people’s eyes and getting people who would otherwise not pursue them to chase them. Future faking is a manipulation that narcissists use to hook you in by making promises. Future faking narcissists are dangerous. You may have experienced future faking previously. The constant cycle of hope and despair can leave you anxious, insecure, and emotionally drained. Reviews. 12 Future faking is a slang term for when someone deliberately manipulates you by overpromising a grand future they cannot deliver on. Their messages or words will sound very convincing, so be careful. 4. If you’re asking yourself what does breadcrumbing mean and how you can tell that you’re being breadcrumbed in a relationship, the answer is simple. Thus – Narcissist: ‘I will call you. The original Future Faking Manifesto is made (and the narcissist believes in it) to assert control over you and get fuel. Future Faking is a form of manipulation used by narcissists and psychopaths where they make empty promises they can't keep. 4k Reads Updated: 19 Oct, 2022 What does future. Future Faking is another grooming tactic in the Narcissist’s arsenal. Raw Motivations. Future Faking. Once the Narcissist has acquired sufficient data from the target, they create a false self that is the embodiment of the target’s fantasy partner. The manipulator, (often a. They use manipulation tactics such as mirroring, future faking, and love bombing, to turn their new relationship into a reliable source of narcissistic supply that they use to construct a positive self-perception. Narcissists often go about future faking by gathering information about the. This is to cause the victim to be blinded by false promises, and have the wool pulled over their eyes in order to be manipulated. Narcissist : ‘I will call you tomorrow and we can arrange to go for dinner on Saturday night. When they make promises of a. Experts suggest that narcissistic personality disorder is linked to factors including: Genetics. Fear of conflict is one of the biggest reasons why people get roped up into a future faker’s false promises. Future faking can also happen with a narcissistic boss. Either simultaneously, or in quick succession. • Future faking. This is where they will promise you all sorts of things in order to get you to stay or to hand over whatever it is that they want in the moment. Future faking: How narcissists manipulate you with romantic fantasies Jason Crosby. 4 min read. You recognize it for what it is — love-bombing. When you're dealing with a narcissist, it's importan. At a Glance Future faking is basically love-bombing on a grander scale. While I do see similarities between both, I would like it if anyone is able to clarify for me what is future faking vs actually talking about the future. Future faking is a common technique used by narcissistic abusers. However, those with narcissistic traits can sometimes display genuine expressions of love, admiration, or loyalty. . He knew all about my great spontaneity, my urge for. By using future faking, narcissists can create a false sense of security, trust, and hope in their victims, leaving them emotionally invested and vulnerable to further manipulation. How Narcissists Attract Their Supply| Future Faking |Love Bombing| Mirroring Techniques of NarcissistsEver wonder how someone becomes entangled with a Narcis. Introduction When it comes to relationships, future faking is a manipulative tactic often employed by narcissists. Future Faking Narcissist. Lesser Narcissists – often, lacking in sophistication, instinctive, vague, can be of questionable provenance. 9 August 2023. Then they. The narcissist gives hints or direct statements about the future in order to control you in the present. Awareness is your first line of defence; by staying vigilant, you can more easily discern when someone’s promises are genuine or merely a tactic to. […] Narcissists jump from relationship to relationship for narcissistic supply. ’ (Future event, spoken statement (low energy) for the purpose of controlling the victim). They paint vivid pictures of a better life together, but here’s the. Outwardly suggests you have a future together. 3. Narcissists do a lot of what’s called “future faking. If someone you just met is being too serious about the far future, tread carefully. Narcissists can be whomever they want or need to be in a moment’s notice. On the other hand, narcissists who use future faking intentionally do it as another strategy to manipulate their partners. Narcissists will also tend to demand a perfectly delivered apology. The narcissist mirrors your dreams. Outwardly suggests you have a future together although you barely know this person. Calling out a narcissist as a pathological liar is not as important as pin pointing the type of lying that he does that really cuts us to the core: future-faking. ’ (Future event, spoken statement (low energy) for the purpose of controlling the victim). They manipulate people by making a false promise (or many) about the future, such as grand romantic gestures, plans, and promises, in order to string someone along in the. Things happen very quickly in a relationship where future faking tactics are being employed. This leaves the victim devastated over the loss of time and potentially this disappointment and that shock can actually cause PTSD. Future Faking Narcissist: Uses inferences that suggest you have a future together. Future faking is to hide things from us to distract us from the reality of what’s truly. Romanoff. Future faking happens because there is no real future with a narcissist. It’s all promises, totally intangible, and most definitely, doesn. People with narcissistic traits believe they deserve special treatment and they are preoccupied with their own talents, which they tend to over-celebrate. But if they were honest, here is what they might pray for. 7K subscribers in the pnsd community. By this, I mean that the narcissist talks about or hints at a future together to get what he wants from us right now. 3. Future faking is where a person offers detailed visions of what a future together might look like.